Friday, February 27, 2009

Thursday. An exciting timeline.

9 am: Gave blood.

9:30 am: Got ready for the PET exam. This Asian nurse had a hard time getting the needle into my right arm. She banged it up pretty good. I think she did it on purpose. Ya know, for losing World War II and all. They couldn't use either of the two tubes sticking out of my right arm for some reason. So the rest of the day I walked around with tubes sticking out of my left forearm and tubes sticking out of my right bicep. I felt like Jack Lambert with all the tape. Fellas you'll have to explain that reference to the lady folk. 

10 am Waited for the barium to go through my body. They put you in this little room and tell you not to move for a half hour. They turn off all the lights except for this lightbox in front of you. On the box is this bad photo of flowers and a path. I told the Asian nurse the photoshop work on the picture was horrendous. The Asian nurse didn't even look up.

10:30 am Went under that big nuculer reactor (that's right, "nucular reactor." I am in Texas.). Had to stay perfectly still for another half hour. 

11ish Done. Went to eat something. Had the chicken parm on an outdoor terrace that overlooked an electrical grid. As my USA Today blew in the wind, I wondered if it was wise for a cancer hospital to be located right next to an electrical grid. The chix parm was excellent, by the way.

1 pm Went to see a doctor about my blood work results taken from earlier in the morning. They weren't good. I got a lot of organs that are very, very upset with me. They are very confused and hurt and want to know why deadly toxins are passing through them. Surprisingly, one is my liver. I laughed since my liver has seen worse pass through it, believe me. The nurse didn't even look up when I joked about that. MD Anderson is a great place but they have no sense of humor. This blood work is unrelated to the other tests I was having. I get blood work every week to check my body. I guess I have to rest a lot this weekend.

3 pm Prep for the CT exam. I have to drink two bottles of this milky stuff at certain times and then wait for the milky stuff to go all over my body.

5 pm After playing quite a few rounds of iPhone cribbage in the lobby, I'm finally able to go under another nucular reactor thingy to take more pictures. They shoot warm barium through my veins and milky stuff up my butt. Sorry for the crudeness but it was even cruder if you were there. I made a joke to this nurse about not buying me dinner. No reaction but this time I deserved it since it was a bit of a tired joke. The nurse took the needle in my right forearm out and said, "Wow. That's one thick needle." I felt bad about being rude to my first nurse, the Asian nurse, especially for thinking that she was mad at me for Hiroshima. It didn't last long, though. 

6 pm Had some X-rays taken.

7 pm Went to my Rotarian home. 

1 comment:

  1. 8:37PM Follows McMurphy's plan for escape by heroically hoisting a heavy hydrotherapy control panel and hurling it through a barred window. Last seen fleeing the institution to the roaring cheers of Taber. Thought to be heading for a 'Chick-fil-A'...