Sunday, February 22, 2009

Is this an alien?

Action intensified this weekend in the war with the evil forces of Cancer. Sources close to the situation say that this, the second of four offensives, will continue into the week. Causalities are mounting on both sides. Michael has no hair, a gaunt look, something called nueropathy and thrush again. That along with the usual headache, nausea, muscle cramps, etc. 

On the other hand, Cancer is retreating from Michael's neck and chest area, although the Cancer cells continue to resist. A report from the minister of Cancer says that Michael is an infidel and liar and takes baths like a girlie-girl. Michael has admitted to taking baths but says that he has to on account of his arm but isn't an infidel. He has lied in the past. 

As expected, Michael is very tired and sleeps most of the day. His dreams are still very graphic and strange. Today he dreamt of being stabbed by something that looked a little like Alf but not as tall as Sasquatch. This was not a nightmare since this Alf-like character was sort of lame and more for a five year old. Michael is relieved that no being in his dreams is telling him to kill anyone, especially not his good friend David Yang.

As mentioned before, this is the second of four chemo treatments with the last one being "high dose". That's gotta be sort of a joke because low dose almost kills you. It was learned today that Michael has to shave all the hairs from his body before entering that phase. Luckily, most of it is already gone (Did you hear that ladies? That's right, no nipple or lower back hair. Va-va-Voom.). Michael also will not be able to eat any fruits or vegetables for a long time. Michael is planning on renting the John Travolta classic, "Boy in the Plastic Bubble" for preparation.

Michael's wife Sherri is in Houston to make fun of the many bad commercials on TV and to aid Michael in his time of need. Sherri will be going home tomorrow to our two fighting kids and a dog that always wants to go outside and play. Sherri admitted the other day that she reads this blog "I'm looking to see where you make fun of me." 

Attached is a picture of Michael in his palatial apartment/hotel room at the Rotary House in Houston, Texas. His wife is in the other room sleeping and would have ruined the picture since she is way too pretty to be married to an alien.


  1. You have 'the Alf dream' too? I thought it was just me...

    As far as plastic bubble movies go - I recommend 'Bubble Boy' (

    That Jake Gyllenhaal is so dreamy.

  2. At the risk of sounding like Scott Schmidt, I'd say you might actually look more attractive WITHOUT hair. Your dome looks pretty cool and shaped very proportionately. I've seen some people who have lost their hair, revealing misshaped heads like Dan Akroid in his Coneheads skit. The hot nurses might actually start visiting you more often now - if you don't keep sticking your tongue out, that is.

    My brain is not that large so God gave me a small cranium, thereby giving me the assumption that I too might look better without hair. As some of my friends already know, my hair is receding faster than George Costanza can say Moops. So I might say screw it and join you in the Domers Club pretty soon.

    Glad to hear the evil cells are retreating. I think they know the big bomb is being dropped in the 4th round of this battle so they figure they might as well leave now on their own accord while they still can.

    Being a man with no chest hair or back hair, I regrettably will say it didn't get me laid very often. You'll most likely have better luck.

    Fight the power.

    The Bubble Boy: The Moors.
    George Costanza: I'm sorry the answer we were looking for was "Moops."
    Jerry Seinfeld: He's a bubble-boy!
    George Costanza: A bubble-boy?
    Jerry Seinfeld: Yes, a bubble-boy.
    Susan Biddle Ross: What's a bubble-boy?
    Jerry Seinfeld: He lives in a bubble.
    George Costanza: Boy!

  3. Hey look, it's Billy Corgan!

  4. Actually, you kinda look like Sonya's husband. (and I think he's very cool looking).