Thursday has always been a big night. Must see TV. The best beer specials. And now, Thursday holds the secret to how my cancer is doing. I have a PET and CT scan and an X-Ray scheduled tomorrow. Those are two tests that take pictures of my insides. Most places take only the PET. MD Anderson--once again, gotta do everything in triplicate.
I'd like to offer up some managed expectations. There's a great scene in the HBO mini-series, "John Adams", with Abigale and her daughter Nabby. Nabby had already lost a breast due to cancer. They were in the garden and it was about a year later. With a lull in the conversation, Nabby just said, "It's back". Abigale said something about fighting it and calling the doctor and so forth. But Nabby said not this time. She knew. People with cancer know their own bodies better than the doctors. The suspicions only have to be turned into fact.
My suspicion is this. The cancer is gone from my right side. But there are still a couple of pretty nice-sized lumps on my left side. Generally, that's pretty good news. However, before a person starts high dose chemo, the chances for a full recovery are highest when the cancer is completely gone. That won't be the case. I know that. This time I have the horse on the outside. Longer odds but we can still see how she does in the backstretch.
Please think positively. I won't have the results any time soon. I might not even have them until Tuesday. That's a lot of positive thinking. I will be. Both times I've felt so much better after the chemo wears off. I can breath.
Enclosed is a picture of what looks like me but is actually the weird dude from that Heaven's Gate cult. Eventually I'll figure out the video function on my iPhone (my daughter showed me once) and do something with that. My friend David Yang asked me about it. I guess he doesn't like all this reading and would rather watch something instead. He likes watching TV.