I've been living with these bumps on my chest for so long, I feel like they're old pals of mine. So why the heck not make them friends?
Carlo is the bump on my left side. He's about 5 cm big and has this major Napolean complex. He's stubborn as all get-out and tough as a bouncer in David Yang's old neighborhood down in the slums of St. Louis. Perhaps as a result of the Napolean complex problem, he's been the leader. He was the Main Bump the first time I had cancer and was the first to come back the second time. Every morning after I wake up, I say hello to Carlo first, out of Godfather-like respect. And like the Godfather, he can destroy me if he so chooses. So I'm nice to him even though I'm doing my best to kill him. I send my army every couple of weeks. But so far, Carlo is virtually untouched. Carlo loves me. Because each time I try to get rid of him, he keeps coming back. I hate him and someday I will dispose of him the way I should. Through my backside.
You may think Francine is Carlo's number 2. But she's not. That title goes to a 6 cm mass of madness that sits under my sternum. She's still tough and she's loud about it. Like my boy Conner when he was a baby, she's full of sound and fury. Francine would do just fine in David Yang's old neighborhood (I know this because David showed me his old neighborhood and it looked a little down-trodden. Plus Nelly went to his high school. Nelly's not that tough but he is a rapper. You know how that crowd gets into trouble these days.). About three months ago, Francine broke through my pec muscles. She's stuck around ever since. Recently while getting ICE, she started to get bigger. She moved around a few muscles and made her presence known. Now that she's up against GND, I think she's quieted down a bit. I'm trying to kill her, too. But she won't die.
If any of you would like to give Carlo or Francine a message, please feel free. Reed, Todd and Glenn, please watch your language and remember to be respectful to Carlo. Also, Reed, Francine loves old eighties heavy metal. She still thinks Ronny James Dio is a god. And ah, Carrie Seanor, you can't date Carlo.