Thursday, February 5, 2009

Fructis, Tom Brady, George Orwell, Others

Sorry I haven't written in the last couple of days. My energy level extended as far as getting a walk in here and there and going to appointments. I'm very tired and confused at times. It took about six tries to remember my password for this blog. But the good news is, the nausea is gone until Wednesday when I start a second dose of chemo treatment. 

Yesterday one of my doctor's asked, "So how are the demons?" Now, these aren't the warewolves. Those come a callin' at night when you can't sleep and mostly howl. The demons are around when you do sleep and they tell you terrible things all day long. They are very, very mean and evil. The doctor said it was a side effect of the anti-nausea medicine and should wear off. You wouldn't believe the shit they tell me. Bad. Very bad. They should be ashamed. My life is a little like that movie Jacob's Ladder where you can't tell what's real and not and all the while these demons are fucking with you. Plus, the guy barely gets out of bed which is pretty appropriate. But the demons are starting to wear off. 

I remember having a little dose of them the first time I had this cancer thing.  I realized I shouldn't listen to them when David and I were having a heated discussion about who was the better QB: Payton Manning or Tom Brady. I was on Brady's side. David doesn't like anything about Tom Brady ever since Brady was at Michigan annually spanking his beloved Fighting Irish. The demons were telling me weird shit then and I knew it was time to get off all nausea medicine. From that point forward, I took Tylenol and puked a lot. Better than to stab David with a salad fork.
This time it won't be so easy but they're giving me options. The doctor says when the demons get too loud, we can switch meds. Then she laughed.  She wouldn't have laughed if she knew what the demons were telling me to do to her at the time.

I'm almost through my first chemo treatment. Compared to ABVD (my first chemo treatment), ICE is more intense. I prefer it only because the nausea doesn't last as long. ICE sounds better too. Like ICE Man in Top Gun. Of course, it was pretty debilitating. With ABVD, I went to work. With ICE, I can barely get to the bathroom. 

I look back at my first week under chemo and wonder if I can get through it again. I got three more of these and then a third of "high dose" chemo. That's when they really fuck you up. Plus, the doctors keep saying I got an easy dose. An easy dose? Man, I couldn't get out of my bed for three days. What's a hard dose?

My hair is changing. I already shaved it off but my body hair is starting to get that gross chemo texture to it. It could use a good some Fructis, ya know, the total hair solution? Sort of brittle now. Only a matter of times before I am browless. 

Thanks once again for all the encouragement from everyone. It really helps. 

I'm enclosing a picture of the Ice Man because, well, Top Gun is such a classic. "Hard deck, my ass, we nailed that sucker." 

I don't know where the troops are and what they've destroyed in my body. But I have every confidence in the fighting men and women of ICE and trust their leadership. I once read a George Orwell book about the Spanish Civil War. In it he said that war is essentially a series of really boring events in between random horrible events. That's the only thing I learned from that book. So I figured the troops are taking their rest and will begin fighting anew next week.


  1. If talking about fantasy football, I'd rather have Peyton Manning. Actually, I've had him many times and he performed very well, thank you. [Geez - that sounds like something I heard through the Scott Schmidt's college dorm room as I walked down the hall. Icky bad, icky bad.]

    If talking about real NFL football, I'd rather have Brady. Although Tom's been getting better in the fantasy arena, hands-down I'd rather have his ICE than Peyton's any day if the game is on the line.

  2. It occurred to me that your fight needs a theme song.

    Music has always been a comforting and motivating force in our lives. It brings us together and provides a shared fabric through which we weave our lives experiences.

    In selecting a song for you I looked deeply through my library. Many a track was sampled but in the end only one song truly distilled the essence of your iron will and steely determination.

    So crank up your speakers and hit this link:

    -Sweep the Leg, -Reed

  3. Reed - if ever I doubted the wealth and depth of your musical knowledge, today before this entire blog crowd I stand corrected. I seriously doubt any living human being has heard this song in its entirety since it was originally recorded. Even Ralph Macchio said "What the heck is this song from?" You are a true musical genius.

    Wax on, wax off.

  4. Correct me if I'm wrong or step out of line here, but it would seem that between now and Wednesday is when you will be feeling your best - relatively speaking and I'm wondering whether we should send the stripper this weekend or wait until you're done with treatment and back at home so that we could all enjoy.

    I'm also wondering whether boredom is a bigger problem between chemo treatments when you feel a little better. If so, it would seem that now would be a good time to let those of us that make up the uneducated masses know what you may find entertaining and perhaps we could be of assistance in terms of sending books, movies or whatever. Of course, we would also need to where to send anything so hopefully the scrambled brain thing is improving.

  5. Todd,

    You are correct that between now and Wednesday I'll be better but still crappy. Everything is relative. So I think I'll hang and play online poker or do some other mindless game. I got plenty to do. The question is whether I have the energy to bother.

    Thanks for the offer.

    Glenn, we were only talking about who's the better QB. Peyton is the All-American who does all the commercials and gets all the pub. Tom bangs supermodels and wins Super Bowls. Peyton only won one and that was against the Rex-led Bears. So that doesn't count.

  6. I agree. Brady's better with the balls when it counts (big games and also while in bed with the chicks) while Peyton is ... well ... just Peyton. Two thumbs up for Brady and his supermodel hotties.

  7. Friday night check in. So I spent all day, we're talking from 8 this morning unti 6 this evening "assisting" the directv guy as he tried to put in a new dish so we can have HD and my wife and her friends can discuss who has really bad skin. So, I still don't have HD because this genius didn't think we should go through the living room floor (in the corner and under furniture) so instead he spent half the day trying to fish a cable through my basement drywall. I now have an unnecessary hole in my basement wall, no HD and this Rhodes scholar returning to my house in the future. On top of it, I miss a day of work because he can't be in the house alone. Trust me, if I could have gone to work and he had managed to get the HD right while stealing $500 from my house I would have been happy. Well, maybe not happy, but I would have dealt with it. Instead I have to have captain competent come back next week to drill through the damn floor I told him to go through in the first place. You may all ask,"What the hell does this have to do with this Michael and his blog?" To which I respond "Shut up, who asked you?" However, in an effort to be polite to those of you I don't know, I will simply say that I will ramble on for Michael's amusement regardless of what you all think.

    Michael, my friend, in an effort to provide you with a life while you are going through your current treatment, I've decided to let you live vicariously through me. Normally this would be boring as hell, but I leave for Vegas on Sunday and my whole career involves taking people who are already pissed off and making them angrier for profit as well as entertainment. So, while in Vegas, I will attempt to relate my experiences as if they were yours. While this may not seem so great if I'm talking about a poker hand, it should seem more interesting if my wife locks herself out of the room in her underwear again or if I get to see her naked.

    Hopefully these few days of feeling better, relatively speaking, leave recharged and ready for round two.

    "Chemo me Mick"

  8. It's amazing how your pop culture comes into play during times of trouble and stress.

    Tonight I'm going to get on my crotch rocket and tear up the PCH chasing F-16s just to let you know I'm thinking of you. A few high-speed thrills really settles me down especially after I do some bad-ass pose downs on the beach volleyball court with Goose.

    Seriously, Maurita and I are thinking of you often. Our prayers and good energy are aimed directly at Houston for you, Sherri and the kids.

    Okay, off to bang Kelly McGillis.