At 10:50 pm on Wednesday, the first sorties of something called ICE swooped down on Michael's body signifying the beginning of hostilities between two mortal enemies.
Although details are still sketchy, there are reports that many cancer cells were killed in the first night alone. The bloodbath continued early into the second day as hundreds of cancers went running for cover only to find death, destruction, sheer terror and chaos. No cell was spared. Yes, even baby cancer cells met a violent and destructive end.
There are no reports from the cancer cells. The government has made no official comment. Their state run TV was showing a cooking show when last checked. The cancer cell Minister of Evil has not been seen out in public for a week, although there has long been rumors that he has a body double that often goes to mall openings.
On the other side, rumors abound that Michael is looking for an aircraft carrier to make his Mission Accomplished speech. This, of course, would be even more premature than the first Mission Accomplished speech. Plus, he doesn't know how to fly an F-16.
Realistically, indicators look like Michael will make an offensive every other week for the next month and then see what has been gained. "We will not sleep until all those suckers are dead. Of course, we will also not sleep because the drugs keep us up all night," a defense department spokesman said. "But we are bound and determined to watch every late night episode of Charles in Charge if it comes to that. And I hope you know that Saved By The Bell is still on...Everybody loved Screech but Mr. Belding had better timing."
If many cancer cells have met their evil end, then the next step of cell transplantation begins. That's more complicated and a whole other article. But it all starts with the death of as many cancerous beings as possible now.
We've enclosed an image of Mr. Belding because we thought it was much nicer than showing the killing fields of Michael's insides.