Asked for a comment, Michael only said, "Go away. I got gut-wrench from that Zagnut bar." Further word is still pending.
From unnamed sources, we have learned that this is the end of a two month assault in what has become a fierce struggle for Cancer Independence. Leading our forces is the recently installed Bea Arthur. From a press release about General Arthur, Michael said, "I was looking for the toughest man in the world. And I found him in Bea. Nobody messed with Maude, not even that emasculated husband of hers." We were not able to get a quote from General Arthur. We were too scared.
The fighting is expected to last for two weeks at which time doctors will assess the carnage.
Enclosed is picture of General Bea Arthur, in her full regalia and in action as she is about to tear apart Dr. Harmon, the stuffy next-door neighbor.