Saturday, January 23, 2010

The secret to a really good kick.

I have to admit and I think I've said it even on this blog before, but I have an awfully good kick. A "kick" is a cross country term. It describes the last half mile or so of a race, including the sprint to the finish. In fact, I never lost to a runner who was within ten yards of me when I started the kick. 

Now, I'd like to think it was because I was super fast but I really wasn't. I just knew a secret or two. One of the big ones is to never flinch. The first runner to flinch is the one that losses 100% of the time. They let up for even a split second. That's all it takes. The better runner focuses, keeps his head forward and down and believes he's getting there first. All those hollywood finishes in races where a guy dives over the finish line just ahead of the other person? You don't need the theatrics. Just keep your head down.

I am trying not to flinch now. We are setting upon the last part of my treatment schedule. I have four days left. The last two times I was at this point, my body started to break down. This time it's just as bad or worse. I've already puked from the treatment and had to take a break for one day. Another situation like that and I'm liable to get off the trial.

But man it's hard. Counting side effect pills, I think I down about twenty suckers a day. Most of them are horse pills. Not pony pills. Big, Man O War horses. The type my step father bets on. For part of the day I keep my mouth shut hard. If I open it, stuff will surely come out. 

I'm also breaking down the other, less pleasant way again. My butt feels like I spent a lost night at Mardi Gras in New Orleans or Rio. Blood is the liquid of choice here when stuff does come out. 

The good news is I'm not so tired any more. I can spend the day with the kids although I need breaks and am very, very little help with Mad Dog. I am hopeful that I can get these other issues under control somehow. 

Bekah is a brave soul and a fellow hodge dogder who was on the same medicine that I'm now taking and saw a whole 40% reduction of her tumors. She has had to stop the trial because the side effects were too much for her tiny frame and is having a hard time of it now. Please keep her in your thoughts if you can. I will. I believe it's still possible to keep my head down, focus, think of her and never, ever flinch.


  1. Never flinch...never give up....may God bring out the Rudy in you!

  2. Great attitude Michael. You need that. We are all pulling for you in the kick!

  3. You can do it, my friend. Thinking and praying for both you and Bekah. Although this is vague, Todd and Reed have always had a phrase that stemmed from their floor hockey days to stay focused: "stick on the ice, don't get beat." Stick on the ice, Michael. Be good and keep that Dinty Moore stew by your side for those crushed-pill soup meals. Side note: who do you like in the SuperBowl: the Saints or the Colts?

  4. While I greatly appreciate the advice on how to finish a race, it’s a little late for it to be of much benefit to me. I’m in my forties and the only running I do is out to the store or over to the neighbors etc. Perhaps you could provide some advice on topics that are more relevant to me. For example, I regularly receive these e-mails that indicate in the subject box that for the low, low price of $29.99 they will send me some pills that will make me bigger and last longer. Since I am no longer even 5' 10" (stupid gravity) I’m thinking maybe I would like to be bigger, and who wouldn’t want to last longer? But are they talking about adding days or years on to my longevity? I haven’t actually opened any of these e-mails because I just don’t know who to trust. Maybe you’ve received similar e-mails and can let me know if these are people I can trust with such important matters as my height and life span.

    My partner, as in law partner, not life partner told me he gets the same type of e-mails, but when he opened one, it turned out they were referring to his wanky and what he does with it and not his height or life span. I don’t think the e-mails I receive could be dealing with my wanky, because how would they know if it should be bigger or last longer? Besides, if I want my wanky to be bigger, can’t I just wait for gravity to do it’s thing? After all, if gravity makes us shorter as we grow older by pulling us toward the earth, doesn’t stand to reason that our wanky must get longer as it’s pulled by gravity over the years?

    As you can see, I am quite confused about some rather important topics. Frequently I lie in bed in night unable to sleep as these things run through my mind. Plus, it’s not just these topics that keep me awake. I have to consider when to start my 12 year old on steroids, why McDonalds discontinued packaging that kept the hot side hot and the cold side cold, why Miller Lite won’t go back to commercials with ex-athletes arguing over less filling or tastes great and who I should vote for in the upcoming primaries when every single candidate is a lying dochebag.

    If you could touch upon any of these topics in your upcoming blogs, I’d really appreciate it.
    In the meantime, get well and feel better.

  5. Conversation makes one what he is..........................

  6. I think all the people who love you and follow your Blog should come together spiritually en masse to do the kicking for you for say, a weekend, so you could stop the 24/7 squeezing and take a well-deserved break from the mayhem. Summon some internal serenity and let it bathe your exhausted soul...forget about the BIG Elephant in the room for 48 hours....pretend that things are normal and that everything will be OK. Stress is a destructive force and you've been immersed in it for so long.....let your kick be a kick back for a few hours. Maybe next Sunday, have a few beers, some snacks, shout & curse at the QB, get pissed a regular guy for a day. Meanwhile, we'll all be using guided visual imagery to send all that toxic shit out of your system into a galaxy far, far, away....let us be your achey body for a weekend and leave you to some semblance of what used to be. Deal?