Sunday, January 17, 2010

Cancer, You-Betcha!

Greetings from Rochester, Minnesota. In just a couple of days I went from New York, the city that never sleeps, to the city that goes to bed around 7:30. Ya-heya. It's cold up here but the folks are warm and the buffets are many. The lead story in tonight's news is about a guy who exposed himself at the Days Inn. Apparently he's done this type of thing before. This is obviously a very disturbed man. Not because he exposes himself. Hey if he's proud of his junk, why not show it off, right? No he's sick because it's cold as hell. Why would any sane person get nakie in this weather even if it is just for a second or two? 

I will be here for the next couple of days. It all depends on what tests I agree to. Tomorrow I meet with some hot-shot doctor. He'll tell me I'm sick, look at my scans and we'll go through the usual patient history. I got it all down pretty good now. 

As for my tests, thank you all for sending your best vibes and inquiries. The cancer is still there and growing at a slow pace. My doc said that is to be expected for some patients because this stuff works at a slower pace than typical chemo. We talked for about a half hour just on side effects because, well, if you can name a bodily function, I can tell you that my body has malfunctioned with it in the last couple of weeks. Things stablized after I got off the meds for a week, though. The big issues are my nausea, itching and high liver function. The doctor kept asking me if I was drinking, like he didn't believe me. I don't do drinking any more. I'm buzzed for half the day anyway. Why would I drink to get even more buzzed? I just want a dose of reality. But with my past, I wouldn't be surprised one bit if my liver is a little sensitive.

So the good and bad news is I have to stay on the meds for another couple of months. We're still trying to work out how I can avoid the inevitable headache and nausea. The doc suggested crushing the sixteen pills I have to take and mixing it into some kind of meal, like a stew. Unfortunately, the Mariott only has about five items on the room service menu. None are stew. I had the walleye. When in Rome. It was huge. I could only finish about half of it and felt really bad about it as I watched the news of starving people in Haiti. Ya know, I've been to Haiti. We took the kids to this private beach as a part of our cruise. The kids couldn't swim much because of the jellyfish. So that's what they think of Haiti--jellyfish.

I don't really know what to do with myself here in the Mariott. I would usually get the headache to go away at home by playing with the kids or picking up Mad Dog. She's does this cool thing where she grabs my finger. I pretend that she's squeezing the badness out for me. 

Enclosed are some visual aids. I know there are a lot of art directors who try to read this but never get through it because there are so many hard words. So I will try to include my picts. There is one of a ceramic bird type of thing at the Rochester airport. Small midwestern towns love ceramic animals. Another is the most famous landmark here, which is a corn water tower that you can see driving into the city. The other pick is of Mad Dog taking a bath. She's probably doing that right now. 

Oh one update. The second lead story in the news is some teenagers blew up a fish house out on one of the lakes here. Really. Blew up a fish house. I'm beginning to love it here. 


  1. Flash forward - One thousand years into the future...

    Some archeologist will excavate that giant corn cob water tank. She will write a report, submit her findings and get a research grant to study 'The Great Cob Cults of the Upper Midwest'.

    Her findings will be called into question when a giant basketball shaped water tower is unearthed near Hebron, IL.

    Years will go by until they finally determine that these strange monoliths are actually part of a larger network cleverly aligned with the stars and all pointing back towards the great ceramic goose at the Rochester Aerodrome.

    Be well.

  2. That is one effin cute baby!
    Good to hear from you again Michael, I spent a lot of time in Rochester for a few months when I was a sexy stew and my Papa was at Mayo. Lots of good people there.
    You and your fam still in my version of prayers :)
    Happy 10 to Team Herlehy!

  3. You always crack me up, Michael. Good writing and enjoy my old home state of Minnesota. Since I was only there for five years, I still don't exactly know what a "fish house" is. Good thing, I guess but the thoughts of blowing up this said fish house brings funny images ... so that's good. Enjoy it up there and I think it's time you started traveling with Mr. Dinty Moore and his can of fatty goodness for pills. Mmmm mmmm good. Miss ya, buddy. Be good.