Friday, June 12, 2009

Why sleep?

It's almost 5 am. The Prednisone and constant itching have kept me up all night even despite two Bendryls and a Lunesta. I have another dose of chemo at 5:30 so it looks like I'm up for the day. 

I'll see the sunrise soon although I can't say I'll enjoy it. Even when I'm not getting a blast of chemo, I think sunrises basically suck. If you see one, you've either stayed up way too late or got up way too early. Neither has anything to do with a pleasant feeling. 

Chemoheads see a lot of sunrises, as noted whenever you see the bags under their eyes. If it's not because of the drugs that go in their body, it's because of the thoughts that occupy their mind. I remember staying up all night a few times the first go-round with chemo. It seems like a long time ago but was only less than a year. 

The last time I was up all night was a few months ago after I came home for the weekend. I can't say I can blame this one on any drug. This was purely angst. The first person to get up was McKenna. She was half asleep, her hair was all over the place and she just said, "Daddy." All that angst the now previous night went away with one word. It was worth staying up all night to experience. Some sunrises don't suck. 

I've lost the sense of taste. That's supposed to happen. The tastebuds aren't regenerating any cells. Next I'll be getting mouth sores. At some point after that, they'll feed me through an IV as I won't be able to eat anything.

My wife leaves for home later and I'm on my own until Sunday when my dad arrives. We found out that I can leave the floor but only under certain circumstances. Certain circumstances include going to a Tai Chi class. There really aren't a lot of other certain circumstances. So, as Sher said, I'll get to "work on my center" in the next couple of days just to get away from the monotony of living in my room and floor. The big news around here is a couple of people are getting tested for swine flue. 

Enclosed is a picture of my current home. No bubble. Just a plain old hospital room. The hot chick on the chair is my wife. The light is from yesterday's sun. 

1 comment:

  1. And here I was all honked off to be up at 6:00am on Saturday with rain falling and no sun rise to watch. Perhaps I need to read the posts here for a little perspective on things.

    Had a woman come in last week who had picked up a DUI. She was probably 5'6'', 150 lbs with platinum blond hair and a chest that was more noticeable than the platinum hair. All in all, not overly attractice, but someone who sort of demands a second look if you pass her on the street. Anyway, she gets pulled over around 2:30am after having a few pops. Apparently at the time she gets pulled over she's wearing a black leather bustier or however you spell it with hot pink laces. Officer Friendly keeps his flashlight trained on her chest the whole time he's talking to her, preumably because he is a gentleman and did not want to shine it in her eyes. Ultimately, he has no choice to write her up because she clearly cannot be allowed to drive. Following protocal, he takes her back to the station and processes her. At this point protocal states that he calls to have her car towed, that she be permitted to call someone for a ride and if she has a ride that she post bail and be released. Lucky for her, Officer Friendly is a gentleman. He calls another officer who delivers her car to her house, he releases her on her own signature and then he drives her home and walks her to the door. So much for protocal. As I said, this woman is not particularly attractive, but based upon how she was treated, I now wear a black bustier with hot pink laces whenever I drive just in case.