Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The calm before the storm. The boring calm.

I'm on Day -9. It's really boring and it's reminding me of prison, besides the butt raping and being stabbed with a shank. The room is as small as a cell block. You aren't allowed to go anywhere further than your own floor. There is no hard labor or guys asking you to be their bitch, but you do have chemo, which is worse. 

I'm even shackled. I'm attached to an IV pole and will be for three weeks. It makes doing anything a pain. They say you should give the IV pole a name because it's with you so much. I'm calling him Bill. He doesn't really say much. He's not spectacular. He's just sort of there. Sort of like a Bill (the exception would be Bill Hughes, of course). 

And like the overcrowded prison system, the stem cell transplant system is bursting. They put me on an overflow floor which is supposed to be used for gynecology radiology. But it's being invaded by stem cell transplant patients. Speaking of gynecology radiology, any single fellas out there want to me to find them a good lady who's been through a rough patch, I can do that. 

The pokie is scariest at night. So is this. Why, I already had a run-in with three nurses and two needles. Nobody could find a vein. Chemo makes the veins really hard and bashful. It takes a real pro to get a needle in. That's something that's universal with cancer patients and we all enjoy talking about our experiences like prison mates talk about theirs. It hurts like a motha. 

So here I am. Doing time. Working on the railroad. Listening to some Johnny Cash. Enclosed is a picture of one of the greatest prison movies of all time, the Shawshank Redemption. It's a close call between that and Papillon. 


  1. Hang in there Michael, and don't drop the soap.

  2. Four stars for Shawshank Redemption. Three and a half for Papillon. The Green Mile was also good at three and a half stars.

    I even wonder if prisons have soap bars anymore. Now a days, they probably just have the liquid soap.

    Here's a classic to cheer you up, Michael:
    Ben Dover: "Take your pants off."
    Fletch: "I don't even know your name."
    Ben Dover: "Bend over"
    Fletch: "Ben? Nice to meet you, Victor Hugo"

    If you're ever bored at night and need something to take your mind off things, check out this site to learn how to play 500 (my family calls it Nulu). If you ever want to play multi-player online, Jeff and I play every so often. www.play500online.com

    Hang in there and drink lots of fluids to help plump up those veins.