Tuesday, May 19, 2009

A breath of fresh air. Boy you don't know how fresh.

As you know just from a few blogs ago, I was having a hard time of it. Then I woke up this morning.

To me, my chest pains have always been a sign that the cancer is still hanging around. Medically they say it could be a couple of things related or not related to yucky-bad masses. I believe the one explanation that says the pains are because the cancer butts right up against a major artery, thus restricting blood flow. I've had consistent pain every single day of my life since November 2007. Some of you bloggers even remember 2007? That would be roughly more than 500 straight days of chest pain. Not for a second today and the day is officially over. 

It's unbelievable. So this is what it's like to feel like the rest of you? You guys got it easy. I like it. I'd tell you that this breathing thing is even better than sex but my parents read this blog and as you all know, I've only had sex three times in my life, thus procreating Conner, McKenna and MadTown. 

I had a feeling I was getting better because my night sweats had all but disappeared, too. Night sweats is a symptom of a type of The Hodge called B symptoms. The B stands for Bad, very Bad. I've never truly experienced pure B symptoms like others but I have tracked my night sweats. When I first got here, they were pretty sopping wet, but perhaps that's because I was scared since I was sleeping at a Holiday Inn. Through time and chemo treatments, they've subsided. The last week, they disappeared altogether. I arise now dry. It's very strange.

Finally, I woke up noticing one other thing, Carlo is all but on the lam. He's way, way down. All that's left is a small bump that probably only I can feel.  

I know that many of you have been praying for me, all to your Gods. I figured that if I got enough variety of praying people, then I'd hit on the right God. You see, it wasn't a matter of volume to me. It was a matter of finding the right one. I didn't want you to keep praying as much as I wanted you to find people of different faiths and tell them to pray. Ya know, I'm hedging my life. 

After all, the pitch itself would be pretty easy. All you have to do is ask God once or maybe twice (just in case he was pre-occupied the first time). I think the story merits some mercy, especially if you included a well-rounded power point presentation in your head when you were asking. I'll bet Cari Dinneen's was spectacular. She's one darn good presenter.

If, for some reason, the chest pains come back tomorrow, I'll know not to joke around about God. But I don't believe that will happen. He's as mean as the Old Testament paints Him out to be. The thing is, you get a reputation and word spreads and things get exaggerated. I understand. So I think he'd listen to the pleas of a Brandy Isaac or a Kristen Rubino, as long as they didn't take up too much time and they didn't get real nervous and start mumbling. 

Now I can't jump up and down about this sudden turn for the healthier. No, really. I can't. The rest of my body is killing me. For almost a week, I've been getting two shots a day to rally those Stem Cells. The side effect is that eventually, your body feels like you just finished playing running back for the Detroit Lions. Guys, if you like, please tell the ladies that the Lions are horrible and if you're playing running back for the Lions, then you're being whipped around pretty badly. It got worse and will continue to get worse until the Great Harvest begins. Of course, it could be God just redirecting his punishment. I should stop talking about God now. Any way, it was a great day today and I'd like to thank you all for the encouragement. I'm sure this will be a roller coaster the rest of the way but there is definite progress. 


  1. I know this is a family show so I've got to keep this clean. Upon reading today's post, I smiled from ear to ear and said some pretty happy things, albeit not for the children to hear. Things that rhymed with "Buck an A, Michael", "Shell Yes!", and "That a way to kick the spit out of them". Stuff like that. I'm just happy you've had yourself a very good day. It's only one day I know, but hey - that's one day better than none. You're on a one-game winning streak! That's one more than the aforementioned 2008 Detroit Lions! Knowing there will be good days and bad days too, remember how you feel today and that with your strong willpower and perseverance, more good days will surely come. Good job, Michael. Congrats. Carlo - sorry to hear of you but don't let the door hit you on the A** on the way out!

  2. That is damn good news. Of course with every bit of good news, there has to be at least a little bad news. In the instance, I'm afraid that I must now inform you that my prayers have been made directly to Satan. As a lawyer, I have a direct line. I think that I may have pledged your soul, my soul or someone's soul in exchange for your recovery.