Sunday, May 9, 2010

Passing it on.

Once again, I'd like to thank everyone for their support the last couple of weeks. My shingles is still around but definitely manageable. I'm up and about doing a lot of mulching.

It's true from what Todd had said. I had the pleasure of seeing our two kids play baseball together. It's actually very strange to come so far. I met Todd in college our freshman years. Who would think that we'd be so old and normal and watching our own kids play ball against each other. Todd's boy got a hit off Conner. Even though he did, it was an enjoyable and fascinating moment. Conner didn't know until after the game. I didn't want to make him too nervous. 

I go in for more tests in a couple of weeks. From what I can feel, the nodes on my left neck are fusing together. They're small individually but together they form a pretty big lump. A "bulky mass" is starting. I'm not sure what the doc will do. You can see them sticking out of my neck now. I try to wear shirts that cover it up. I don't want the kids staring at it. 

My hair keeps falling out. I'm sick of hats but I really have no choice since the hair is coming out unevenly. I refuse to shave it all off. This is the last I'll probably ever see of my hair so I'd like to keep it around for as long as possible. Even if it is covered by a hat.

I'm really enjoying the days here and hating the nights. I wake up late morning, see Maddie, take about an hour to get used to the world and the weirdness of my body and then get on with it. Usually, Sherri and I do something around the house. Lots of mulch is involved. At night, I have to take the pills and I don't feel too good. Toward the end of the night and into the morning, such as now, it's pretty ugly in my head. 

Tonight I made the mistake of feeling the nodes on my left side. If I don't feel around, I'm okay because I pretend to just have a disease. When I feel around the disease becomes more menacing. I rarely feel around but tonight I did. It's actually a little difficult not feeling it. When I take a shower I just don't wash that part. If there's an itch, I pull on my shirt. I don't even shave in that direction. 

I haven't posted here because quite frankly, nothing new has gone on. But I did really enjoy seeing Todd and wanted to write about it. Sometimes you can spot milestones in your life even while they happen. Most of the time, you probably don't appreciate it for what it is. But then I really did. I have three kids and all are great. They have their own personalities and are good people. A couple of weeks ago, I got to see a friend of mine with his own kid and I can see how we all pass it on. Todd is a really ice person who will do so much for a friend. His son recognized me even though he hadn't seen me in eight years or so. Amazing. 

When I was younger, probably as a freshman in college, I thought life was about so much more. I wanted to change so much. But now I'm okay with changing my world and making my world better. No one person changes the world. Nobody changes a lot. But a lot of people change a little. And then they pass it on. 


  1. Michael.....have you heard about this? I saw a report featuring Dr. Song over the weekend. Any port in a storm?,0,1148717.story

  2. Good afternoon, Michael. I wished I could have met you and Todd at the baseball game; sounds like it was a great moment for both of you old geezers. How right you are that when we were young, we had high hopes to do a ton of things, make changes here or there. Nowhere in my little brain did having kids or anything regarding children ever enter. Now, 20+ years later, I can't imagine life without them. When you, Todd and I pass on, our legacy will live on in our kids. Although I cannot see any similarities between how I look and how my three girls look, I can definitely see characteristics in them that tell me that it definitely wasn't the UPS guy for Deborah, the Airborne Express guy for Rachel or the FedEx Ground delivery guy for Valerie. They are most definitely mine. Maybe it's easier for other people to see the physical likenesses between parent and child. I know that I can definitely see parts of both you and Sherry in your kids. But the most important thing we can pass on to them isn't the physical attributes but what we teach them. How they should behave, what is right, what is wrong, what you believe in, things like that.

    Reflecting back on what I thought I wanted to do upon getting out of college and what I want to do now are nowhere close. Back then it was all me; now, it's all for the kids. You definitely had a fantastic life moment the other day. Sitting in the stands with one of your best friends, watching your siblings compete in the great game of baseball.

    In baseball and all sports the old adage is "it's not who wins or loses but how you play the game." The same philosophy applies in life as well. In the game of life - that day at the ballpark - you and Todd hit home runs. I wish I could have been there to share the moment. Congrats my friends, to you and Todd both.