Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The joys of Shingles

I have Shingles. They say they're painful but to be frank, I really can't tell. My body is already killing me from the chemo and cancer. I've had shooting pains and cramps throughout my body for two years, I really don't believe shingles is going to be that god-awful. 

So instead of looking it this as another setback, I see this as another chance to enjoy some vicodin. It's not every day that you get to bedazzle your brain with some powerful-bad drugs that don't make you puke. In fact, I wrote a poem about it. It goes something like this:

Oh vicadin, you put me in a lovely trance.
Just a small swallow 
And I will wallow
With this sweet, sweet drug romance.


  1. My daughter Tabitha says "tell him to take a cool 'oaty-meal' bath everyday - it helps a lot" She had a wicked bad case of shingles when she was seven.

    As for your ode to vicadin... It sounds a bit like Lou Reed but smells like Keith Richards

  2. Shingles? Having known you for so long I would have pegged you more as the kind of guy to get crabs or some other std. Shingles just isn't as sexy, although your vicodin poem might just become shingles new ad campaign and launch it into the mainstream along with aids, herpes and other wonderful illnesses.

    About that vicodin, do you mind if I ... nevermind, I can't go there. Not when I still have alcohol to keep me company on those days that end in a "y".

  3. Several explicatives come to mind now.....the Mayo Clinic folks indicate that a person in your situation is more susceptible to the virus that causes Shingles but I'm sure that is no comfort to you!!! Posted by 'stargazer'-Democratic Underground:

    Vicodin, I sing your praise
    You give me strength, lift my malaise
    My heart you ease, my mind you rest
    You cheer me up, you are the best
    Though still I cannot move too well
    I do not feel so much like hell
    My mind is mellow, smooth and fair
    The pain remains but I don’t care
    No longer moaning on my bed
    I’m writing poetry instead
    So Vicodin, I raise a toast
    To you, the pill I love the most.
    Vicodin dreams can be so vividly vivacious, or violent......and yours?

    Dear, dear Michael I want to take the Nurf Bat you never bought and whack you until all the cancer has been immerse your poor body in mineral muds and have Shaman purge the scourge that has invaded your once sweet life.
    Oh Jeses, heal our Michael.......