Monday, December 21, 2009

End of SAHA cycle one

I talk in weird generalities to Conner now. I must be driving him crazy because it's a lot of short lectures about treating people fairly, never giving up, being upfront with people, etc. He's hit that pre-teen age and doesn't really go for parents any way. I'd give the same lecture to McKenna but she'd just space out and start singing or something. Madison doesn't understand English yet so she's not in on the conversations. She does stare at me a lot as if to saay, "This guy looks a little like me, has about the same amount of hair and sniffles a lot. He's annoying. He's clearly not as easy on my eyes as that lady who always picks me up."

Two new nodes have popped up and I'm going to see what the doctor has to say. Tomorrow is my last official day of the first cycle and it doesn't seem to be working, as my two new nodes can attest. The administrator of the trial said that nobody sees results this fast but I'm going to ask the doctor. Even if I don't see results, I shouldn't be getting these nodes either. In total, that makes seven areas of cancer. Sounds like a lot. Probably is but the good news is only two areas are near major organs, which is my chest and belly.   

Last week, tests showed that my liver functions were high so the doc took me off all non-essential drugs. That means no sleeping pills and I have to be easy on the pain meds. So I'm not sleeping much, probably sort of like many of you. I can only sleep on my back. If I try either side, I get pain. If I try my stomach, I get chest pains. Most of the time I just stare. 

Sorry this isn't funnier or more poetic or even just an easier read. But I wanted to give you an update. So many of you have been very supportive. Hopefully one day that support will pay off and we'll buy each other drinks. Mine will be a club soda. 


  1. No need to entertain us with humerous wit and the like....actually, I really appreciate the honesty, I mean, what else is there? I have seen told that guided visual imagery is sometimes helpful....what are you doing for your soul? Don't "squeeze" so one expects diamonds. A video, perhaps?
    Today, you must go outside with all available 2 and 4-leggers and make a snow Angel...let the snowflakes melt on your tongue!

  2. Greetings from South Carolina. Got snow up there? If so, send some down here. When we moved three years ago I thought that one thing I wouldn't miss would be the snow. Oooops - wrong. Sure, I don't miss shoveling it or driving in it but I do miss it. I remember making snow forts, driveway hockey with the high snow banks, good snowball fights, snow angels with the kids, etc. Sure - old guys like us won't do most of that stuff anymore - but there's still something nice and fun that snow brings, especially to the kids. Down here businesses and schools close if it MIGHT snow; not if it DOES snow but if it MIGHT snow. It's really sad how big of a deal people make about it. We've had two days of snow in three years so I do miss it. Enjoy it up there, Michael, and keep smiling. If you see Todd any time soon, hit him in the back with a snowball for me - just for kicks. Say hello to Sherry for me and thanks for keeping us updated.

  3. Michael & family......
    What an arduous year for all of you, yet such glorious moments of joy. That is the way of the World. I am sending prayers to you that the New Year of 2010 is kinder to you and full of your heart's desires come true....serenity, joy, Faith and love.

  4. Also thinking of you, Michael. We're keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

  5. Lovely day.....go out and feel the warmth of the Sun on your weary self!!