Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Up late. Collarbone is sore again today. Worried that the new treatment won't work. If it doesn't, I'm up the creek. Odds aren't with me. Studies aren't with me. Need to go to bed and forget. Love sleep. I wish this wasn't happening to me. Chest pains are back. No itching or night sweats. Miss worrying about something stupid. Still mad at God. Not speaking to Him anymore. Still haven't told kids. Conner is catching on. Hate me for inflicting so much pain. Wish wife would have met someone else so she could grow old with someone together. Look worse today. Disease keeping hair from growing. Look like Patrick Swazie, not the dancer or bouncer but the guy in People mag who had cancer. Now groin and leg hurt constantly. Growing there too. Waiting. Hope Kate Levin's okay. Wonder. Wish I could be happy. Can't enjoy happy moments. Love my new baby. She smiles a lot. Hope McKenna dances when I'm gone. Not sleepy but tired.
Posted by Michael Herlehy at 9:58 PM