This was written by someone else who fought the Hodge. It sums up what I feel. To everyone, I'm sorry I haven't emailed, called, faxed. If you read this you' might get it.
This was posted years ago by a warrior named Andy (Nickel1). The line about dealing with your disappointment in other people came to mind when reading recent posts. This piece addresses that issue well...
"How to beat cancer"
Be prepared for a marathon. It will be a long fight so pace yourself. Be prepared to go it alone if necessary, but get ready to go the distance.
Don't expect others to do as you do and do not hold others up to your standards. Not everyone can go the distance with you. People will come and go as best they can. Accept what help they can give you when they can.
Conduct yourself in your everyday life in a manner that will give you no reason or excuses for your behaviour when you look back on this time. Make the present so that you have no regrets. Don't drink or do drugs that are not needed. Be a leader so that others may follow.
Have heros. Be inspired by your heros, and be inspiration to others around you. You may be their hero.
Fight. Fight 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Fight when you wake up, fight until you go to bed, dream about fighting in your sleep. Want to win so bad that you can taste it in your food and in your drinks.
Willpower. Have plenty of it. Tell yourself you will get better every day and believe it so that you make yourself better through sheer willpower. Aspire to be great and expect nothing less than total victory. Refuse to lose or even entertain defeat. You will stu
mble but a champion always rises to keep going. Be that champion.
Stay focused. Do not fight battles that do not need fighting and take you away from this fight.
Hate it. Hate cancer like nothing you have ever hated before. Save all your hate for it and it alone. Love everyone and everything else. Life is good so don't let it go by.
Have no mercy, no pity, no compassion, until every last cell of it is dead. Rejoice in every victory no matter how small.
When in doubt, fight it out. You won't win if you stop fighting. It's OK to be afraid but don't stop fighting and do whatever it takes to win. Have faith and it's OK to cry.
Most of all, always walk proud. Even if you are in a wheelchair, a bed, or can't walk at all. Maintain that air of strength on the inside, because you know its better to die like a lion than live like a lamb.